Wednesday, November 25, 2015


If you want to feel like a real grown up, hire an attorney.  

I have never had to hire an attorney, which I guess is a good thing.  You hear horrible things from the media and pop culture leading  you to believe all attorneys are money-hungry liars who don't actually care about you one bit.  Needless to say, I was nervous.  

As previously mentioned, as soon as Alysha and I met, we got started on the process right away.  We called and got an appointment with the fertility clinic, and was referred to an attorney to begin the legal process.  

Without getting into too many details, the attorney that was referred to me ended up not working out.  He was cruel, belittled me, and even threatened me when I told him I was looking into other legal options.  I don't even know what it was, I just never felt comfortable around him, and the day I was supposed to mail him a check to begin writing the contract, I just sort of panicked.  Something didn't feel right!  I was so frustrated this was delaying the process by two weeks, but I wanted to get it right!  I found a new attorney and felt much more comfortably around him.  He was very familiar with the legal process and made great suggestions for ideas I had that needed tweaking.  

If I had one piece of advice to share when hiring an attorney for anything, listen to your heart.  If it's telling you something isn't right, listen. Also, communicate clear expectations with your attorney prior to beginning anything. 

Writing the contract took longer than hoped, but it was finally done and ready to submit to Alysha and her attorney.  It is such an awkward feeling how this was handled.  We talk every day and had already become very close, but when it came to legal process, we are referred to as 'opposing counsel,' almost as if she was the enemy, and I was hers.  I know that's not actually the case, but everything had to be handled so specifically.  If she wanted to change something in the contract, she needed to speak to her attorney, who spoke to mine, who spoke to me, etc.  

We signed the contract on New Year's Day, 2015.  We were SO excited.  But, there was still a bit of work before the contract had to be submitted to the state of Utah for approval.  We had to gather pictures, letters of reference, and criminal records (yay for clean records!) to start.  

Getting finger prints done!

Once everything was gathered, we finally submitted to the state.  This was the hard part. We had been warned that some judges approve you to begin the process, and some require a home study and/or a hearing.  It was about 90/10, 90% in favor of waiving the home study, if I remember correctly. 'OK, our chances were high, let's just go into this with a positive mind.'  I was so concerned it would hold up the process, and even had this irrational fear that I wouldn't pass a home study because of a pre-existing health condition.  I spoke to my friends and they let me vent to them.  They calmed me down and said that if we did need a home study, they were sure I would pass, but I couldn't get it out of my head!  Or maybe we wouldn't need a home study, but the judge could request a hearing, where we meet before him or her to explain our case.  But with a judge's busy schedule, they can book WEEKS out! 

As all of this stress was going on, we were busy at the clinic getting everything ready so as soon as the judge said 'go,' we could begin.  They wouldn't let Alysha start on any medicine or anything until they had the letter from the judge!  But Alysha's blood work had been approved, her uterine lining was great and declared a 'five star hotel' from our doctor! Hee hee. 

And then the good news came, 1/27/15, 3:01:14 pm (yes, that exact time is stamped on our approval), we were approved! No hearing and no home study!

I swear I sent that next and not even one second later my phone was ringing and Alysha was calling me! We were both SO excited!!! 

We immediately called the clinic and we got so lucky that Alysha's, ahem, menstrual cycle, fell exactly were it needed, and our nurse had medicines shipped out that day.  She started her shots that Friday.  This is our attempt that unfortunately ended in a chemical pregnancy, but everything happens for a reason right?

I made Alysha a care package once I got all of the shots together and took them to her work.  I don't know if we were more excited about the legal process being done or we could finally start with the medical process!

I hope it's a long time before I ever have to hire an attorney again! 

No comments:

Post a Comment