Monday, December 21, 2015

Official Welcome!

Here we are, 21 weeks into the pregnancy, launching our blog! We are very excited you are following our journey.  We have so many people who have been cheering us on long before we got a positive pregnancy test! We hope this is a place to follow progress and learn about some of the crazy details involved in a surrogacy journey. Yes, we are fully aware our blog a bit scrambled and out of order right now, but consider this our launch! I went into a bit of shutdown mode over the spring/early summer when things were not going as planned where I did not want to think about it unless I had to.  

So many people have asked the famous question, 'What is your story?' Please take a minute in Alysha's and my 'about us' pages to learn more about how we met.  But basically, after dealing with my pulmonary problems that were causing me infection after infection and pain, I decided surrogacy was the best option for me.  I didn't tell many people, not because I was embarrassed or ashamed, or felt that I was missing out on anything, but because I can say with honesty that I never thought it would happen.  I didn't like having conversations with friends about this idea when I had when I didn't even know where to start. 

I don't even remember what it was, but finally I just opened my mouth one month and started telling people, and asking people.  I just said "Hey. Does anyone know somebodyninterested in being a surrogate?" (Which I now know is called a gestational carrier). Once I put it out there I felt a weird sense of relief.  I still didn't think it would happen, but I was pretty proud of myself for getting it out there! I sent two emails on 9/11/14, I randomly picked a few strong women in my life, out of several who may have a good idea for me where to start. One of these ladies is my aunt (in-law) responded and said she actually knew of a gestational carrier, but she was currently pregnant.  Here is where magic happened...

Two days after sending an email, Alysha was at a party with my aunt, as she is friends with her daughter.  The conversation came up of pregnancy and childbirth, and Alysha said she wanted to be a gestational carrier. It took over a month for my aunt to contact me, but late October I got a text that changed my life.  My aunt said she may know someone interested in surrogacy.  

I freaked out.  I didn't even know what to say or think! We sent a couple messages and finally we just called each other!  We talked for several minutes.  "Are you sure?" is all I remember asking! My aunt was convinced and felt strongly about it.  I tried to not get excited thinking she had already changed her mind by now, or thought it was a 'down the road' situation.  After a couple days of being too scared to do anything, I finally emailed Alysha! It was the scariest email I have ever written in my life! I thanked her for even thinking of becoming a gestational carrier, and told her she sounded amazing.  I asked if I could take her to lunch to meet in person.  We found a day and time the next week that worked for us.  We went casual at Chick Fil A because I had Evelina and wanted her to play while we talked.  I remember pulling up to the parking lot and not even wanting to get out of my car.  I was SO SCARED.  We had been messaging and emailing quite a bit, but seeing her in person made me so nervous.  I finally got out of the car, and when we met in the lobby I hugged her.  Then immediately thought "was that weird?!" We chatted for almost an hour before she had to get back to work.  Over the next 24 hours we finalized what we wanted in the contract via text, and got started! 

The next three months involved so many lawyer meetings and clinic meetings, but I still couldn't believe it was happening.  Again, this blog is quite out of order, but if you see the last post you'll see we were approved by the state of Utah to officially begin our journey end of January, 2015.  We started on treatments immediately, which lead to an embryo transfer end of February, 2015.  This ended in a chemical pregnancy (where the embryo immediately stops implanting right around the time you would have a period), which was hard, but also just something we just dealt with, and trusted Alysha's body.  The hardest part was over the spring and summer.  We were just on hold, and it was awful!  We were both so anxious and impatient but there wasn't anything we could do.  After the chemical pregnancy, Alysha's body took almost three months to regulate.  When we were ready to start on a next cycle, everything was lined up perfectly, but as we found out, it went too perfectly! Alysha's uterus lining was too thick, which meant we had to delay AGAIN

As you can guess, everything eventually worked out, as it always does, right? We are both just so excited, and I am completely thankful to be where we are now. 

Before I knew the gender!

As we have met people through Instagram so far, it's so amazing to see how many women have mentioned their interest in becoming a gestational carrier.  If this blog leads to one woman becoming a carrier for another family, we would feel so complete.  We are always happy to answer questions about the process.  Email is best as some things are private and we don't want you to say anything you are uncomfortable with!

THANK YOU again for so many amazing friends and family who have been so supportive all along. We hope you enjoy our journal!

Photos by the amazing Jessica Weyerts of White Dandelion Photography.

1 comment:

  1. . Unfortunately infertility is a great problem of nowadays. And every day I meet more and more people, even my close friends who need advice and help. It is very important not to give up as there are enough options and solutions for infertile couples. There are so many women in the world who faced the same problem and who are happy mothers now. I am one of them. I am a happy mother of a healthy child, and I would be happy to share my experience if it can help. In my country surrogacy is also forbidden. Therefore, I decided to surf the Internet to find out a suitable European country with great service and clinic, which would be able to provide a positive result. I didn’t want to be a client of an Asian country, because there are so many horrible stories about them. Then, I found the story of one woman who became a happy mother. She had used the service of BioTexCom. It is a clinic that is situated in Ukraine. I contacted them and English-speaking manager provided me with all information that I needed. I went there after month. It is essential for me to understand that the clinic takes care of me as of an intended parent. My husband and I decided to visit the clinic in order to check the service and we took an economy package. So, we appointed the meeting. At the airport we were met by a driver of the clinic. Then we got acquainted with the clinic manager, who knew English well, since it’s also really important to know all the details and to understand the language. We were offered to have rest and to have a breakfast after the flight. A comfortable accommodation and food were also covered by the clinic. Well, the next day we arrived to the meeting with a doctor. By the way, transport service was also covered. All the staff was nice, they were ready to help us anytime. First, we were examined by the doctor of the clinic. I was infertile because I lost my uterus. I was diagnosed with the uterine cancer five years ago, and the doctor insisted on its removal. We wanted to get to know the legal terms of the contract, we were interested in all legal aspects, because it is essential to be sure that we were the parents of the child that the surrogate mother was going to carry and deliver. The clinic representatives were ready to help us, since the economy package covers legal assistance. When we were assured that after the birth of a child (or children) we would become legal parents, we decided to sign the contract. We were so excited about all this! Service was great. Finally, we started to believe that there was hope in the world! During the second visit they picked up my eggs and fertilized them with the semen of my husband. Then, a doctor transferred embryos to the uterus of a surrogate mother. I guess we were very lucky cause our surrogate got pregnant after the first attempt! The doctors assured us that the surrogate mother was fully healthy, and it was really essential. And during the third visit we became happy parents of a beautiful son! We were so happy and we live a bright life now! We have a great family and I wish every parent all the best!